SKU: WOOBIE

ACU Poncho Liner

Your new emotional support blanket

Product Details

Meet the Poncho Liner, the military’s worst-kept secret and the ultimate cuddle companion disguised as surplus gear. Nicknamed the “Woobie” because it’s basically a hug in ACU pattern camouflage, this lightweight (1.5 lbs), quilted slice of heaven is perfect for everything from surviving a chilly night in the field to binge-watching your favorite show on Grandma’s couch. Made from synthetic wizardry, it’s warm, packable, and smells faintly of surplus store dreams and questionable life choices. Sure, you could get a better blanket for less money at CHYNAMART, but that doesn’t have the same allure.

Whether you’re a grizzled vet or a wannabe prepper, this wonder ties onto anything—poncho, sleeping bag, or your fragile sense of security. Its classic camo print screams “I’m tactical on a budget,” but don’t be fooled: you’ll be swaddling yourself in it like a burrito the second nobody’s looking. Snag one and prepare to love it more than your actual family. If you have an actual family, we recommend getting extras, you’ll lose the first few to attrition.

Warning: May cause irrational attachment and the urge to whisper “My precious” while stroking it. Non-negotiable: the Woobie stays in the divorce.

Condition varies slightly from GREAT to GOOD. They’re close enough we’re not going to bother grading them. If you show up in person, you’re welcome to hand select. Sadly, the gaylords are stored in such a way that climbing in and frolicking like in a ball pit is no longer an option. I can tell you, it was pretty fun.

Surplus items may or may not ever restock, so get ’em while you can.

Surplus items are not eligible for returns.

$25.00

200 in stock